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Start at the Beginning

by Ben Averch

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1.
Two Places at Once (free) 03:43
I'm here but I'm not really here The wind blows through me like a ghost All that I can think about Is where I want to be the most In between two worlds at once Falling through an endless void One side, the life we know The other, truth I can't avoid Two places at once, I'm falling between Two places at once When you see me standing near I might as well be gone Cos I can't even see your face Or hear the words of your song I don't have a blueprint I don't have a map I don't have a way to spring the trap It's worse than a heartbreak When it's only in your mind Drunk on imagination Leaves nothing to find Then comes the daybreak Same place, same time Light floods in memories That won't leave me behind
2.
It Ain't Me 03:48
Under a microscope, I can see myself now, disintegrating Under lock and key, can I free myself somehow by deviating It ain't me, it ain't me I'm not the one to set you free, no It ain't me, no What does it mean to be the picture of your expectations? There's no way I can explain, this wasn't preordained But we know the ending It ain't me, it ain't me I'm not the one to set you free, no I need to find myself lost, no matter what the cost Cos it ain't me, it ain't me, no Forget about the rules, I don't mean to be so cruel It's incomprehensible If I should disappear, fulfill my greatest fear Is it inescapable? It ain't me, it ain't me I'm not the one to set you free, no I need to find myself lost, no matter what the cost 'Cos it ain't me, it ain't me, no Buried under the snow, wherever love may go It ain't me, it ain't me, no Without a word to pretend, beginnings need an ending It ain't me, it ain't me, no
3.
Start at the Beginning (free) 04:23
To fall in love is a beautiful thing No matter what, no matter what it brings The visions come in coursing streams Flying away, my chance to be redeemed I don't have to curse my name I don't have to go insane Dragging me down by my heart What could be is all I see The sun through the trees, it ain't reaching me What could wake me up or set me free When the wind on my face, it ain't touching me I don't have to curse my name I don't have to go insane Dragging me down by my heart Am I awake or still asleep Burning bright or six feet deep Dragging me down by my heart Where'd you go now I'm only here and I don't know how What does it mean to be Starting back at the beginning again
4.
Everytime I wake up, it's the same The rain is pouring down all over me And when I think I'm burning through the clouds Storms are rolling up on the horizon In a silent morning The space for me to be reborn In a blinding rainstorm The space where everything is transformed Can my world stop spinning Can I find my way to the beginning 'Cos I know I'm missing The love that's at the core of my existence Everytime I'm flying down the highway I can feel the places left behind And when I think I've reached my destination How come I never feel like I arrive Pass through me / Renew me / Define me / Align me to the source of love
5.
Do you believe that I can sleep and I can't think straight And when I finally drift off, I see your face Like a wave that's crashed on me, and I'm upside down And I can't even remember how to turn around You're out of my reach, but even the reaching's wrong My heart is pulling me down I've come off the spinning wheel 'Cos when I see you there ain't nothing else to feel Do you believe that I can't see two feet in front of me Twisting me up 'cos what I want can never be It's like I'm out on the ocean, and there's no dry land I want you to pull me under, when you take my hand You're out of my reach I had everything I needed before I knew what I could see It's all I can imagine just to see where we could be You see through me
6.
Forest fires raging in my heart Everything I've built is torn apart And you know I'll never be the same As the picture hanging in the frame Creative destruction bringing new life from what there was Without hope there can't be any way to see what could be Black smoke engulfing all I see Wind whips the flames when you look at me No words can say what this means Regenerate this in memory Opening the canopy to let light in From this sea of ashes you'll begin Open up to every possibility From this smoking darkness you can see the sun
7.
Nobody told you not to keep it all inside And hold all your sadness against the world outside The things that are hurting you will never go away The only solution is to give up and away I know you never know I've seen that undertow Take you away I've seen those icicles stick through your heart They'll fade away You can't cling too tightly to the gifts you've been bestowed Cos if the world wants to, you know that it'll free, free 'em from your hold And the things that are always hurting you You know they'll never, ever go away The only solution is to give up and away Give up your hopes and dreams Give up your everything Give them away I don't want anything I don't need anything Love from the world Love from the world When you can't find nothing left When you can't find nothing left
8.
Hope Anchor 05:11
Come up from the bottom, climb up on the chain Come up to the surface again and again And in the faraway distance, I see a glittering light And a wind that blows me away to a deep dark night No matter what I say, it all means the same I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't cling to you Then when the storm falls and the rain's coming down You know I saw it all coming, I couldn't turn it around I don't know how it got started, I don't know how this could be Now everything is in free fall, for what it means to me No matter what I say, it all means the same I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't cling to you And when the winds collide, you are my place to hide Out on the open sea maybe you can find me I can't see anything anymore I've lost my sightline to the shore You're my way back on to where I belong My waiting hope anchor
9.
Pure Energy 04:15
Never knowing is the answer Never needing is the cure Always beginning is our true state Always yielding to what's pure It's pure energy, your true heart It's pure energy, this new start In waves of red and gold I feel your soul fly through me In undulating light between the sky and sea In a fight for freedom that I need to win In a quest for victory over the state I'm in I'm going deeper than the surface waves To the ocean floor where no light escapes I don't need to remember where I've been I don't need to know anything When I feel your arms around me When I feel I'm pure energy
10.
When I feel I'm falling And the water's rising up to meet me And there's no one I can talk to About the pain in life that's gonna defeat me Is there anyway to turn back And take another look at the landscape Before diving through a frozen lake Cos between my hands it's the world I make The nothing shines through The solid world just comes unglued And the life I try so hard to build Illusions that I can't fulfill Did you ever stop to wonder How things take on a shape of their own And everything we started By bringing life to the unknown Is there room left to maneuver Cos I feel like I've been cast in stone And I hope to God you're with me Cos I don't want to face it alone The nothing shines through The distance between me and you Falling shy of all my dreams Is tearing me right at the seams In your arms is where I want to be When I see clearly you are all I see Wide open to the world Wide open to the world Wide open The nothing shines through
11.
I want to do something I'll regret I want to go somewhere and try to forget One more straw to break my back One look away from a heart attack I don't know where I'm headed and I can't look up I don't know what I need, but it's all fucked up without you It's not what I expected to find The life that I'd perfected in my mind One more step from where I could be One more day slipping away from me I don't what I'm doing but I can't back up Everything I want to be is all fucked up without you Every day I want to believe I can start anew Every time I try to forget where you are My darling ruin
12.
When you were born, I felt the world change Everything drew into range Now my life is changed forever And we are held together When you were born, I felt the world change Time stops, feeling life expand Light glows in interwoven strands I feel it overwhelming me Tapped in to the soul of eternity When you were born, I saw the sun rise Over secret worlds behind your eyes Although your words are voiceless I can feel their nearness When you were born, I saw the sun rise Out on the road that's before us I'm gonna seek out a place for us I feel like there's no boundary Tapped in to the soul of eternity Anywhere time's gonna find us These are the ties that will bind us And in the life that you build Will be my destiny fulfilled
13.
Sometimes in the daylight I can see everything The tops of the trees, concentric rings Underneath the static I can feel the transformation Sometimes in the shadows I can't feel anything The void of the sky, the emptiness so full of life Underneath the tension I can feel my soul escaping You can only feel what you let yourself feel You can only see what you want to believe Sometimes in the starlight I can feel gravity The pull of distant planets is as heavy as the earth Underneath the motion is the stillness of creation It's a wide-eyed stare, it's the life you dare It's overstimulation It's the driving force, ultraviolet source It's solar radiation
14.
What holds us together is the sideways rain No matter how much falls behind us we remain I've been too long in the world of the unreal Baby, I been sleeping at the wheel If love is a river that's flooding through me Then I don't know where it goes if it can't run free What holds us together are the wind-bowed trees Digging their roots into our souls' identities How can I tell you, tell you what it means To be always bursting at the seams What's holding us together In the sweat of a fever dream What's holding us together I been bursting at the seams

about

START AT THE BEGINNING is testament to the composing genius that is Ben Averch. Ben has added to his music what few others in the prog-related world focus enough on - a rich, well developed sense of melody. The result is good meat for musicians, with plenty of tasty twists and turns, but also an album that is exceptionally listenable. You'll find yourself humming the well-crafted choruses long after your first listen; they're pleasantly catchy.

Ben's unique voice works very well with this material, and his sense of harmony shines through on some very well executed backing vocals. At times, he brings to mind a certain flavor of Geoff Tate (Queensryche). The guitar work is superb, making ample use of arpeggios that always seem to fit just right.

Tracks that really shine through are "Two Places at Once", "It Ain't Me", "Out of My Reach" (this reviewer's personal favorite), and "What Holds us Together".

This CD is a must-have for anyone who might appreciate a modern approach to rock, with a good portion of 80s pop sensibilities (think Rush from Power Windows meets Yes from 90215, with a touch of The Police from Synchronicity, but updated for the new millennium).

-- Jeremy Race

credits

released April 1, 2008

Ben Averch: drums, bass, guitars, vocals, keyboards, loops

Produced and engineered by Ben Averch

Recorded and engineered by Ben Averch at BaverchNW Studios, Sammamish WA May 2006 - April 2008

Mastered by John McCaig at panicStudios, Seattle WA March - April 2008

Special assistance and objective ear by Mike Averch

Art direction by Ben Averch
Photography by Tom Hanser
Cover art by Anonymous

Thanks to my family, for your love and patience.
Alycia, I love you always.

Ben Averch plays Paul Reed Smith guitars.

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Ben Averch Chapel Hill, North Carolina

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